Who Should Be My Bloody Valentine?

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, my pandemic-induced thoughts in the latest city-wide lockdown have temporarily shifted from mourning the [seemingly permanent] loss of my sex life to fantasizing about love, romance, and my next relationship.  More specifically, and maybe this is down to a heavier-than-usual diet of horror movies in the past year, I find myself wondering who would be the better boyfriend, Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees? 

To help me arrive at a decision, I’ve made the following lists of what I feel each man would bring to the table that is my heart.  Admittedly both have A LOT to offer, but whose qualities are more in line with what I value most in a potential partner?   Have a look for yourself and then let me know who you feel would be the better catch.

MICHAEL MYERS WOULD BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND BECAUSE:

Halloween is his favourite time of the year!

He doesn’t rely on public transportation to get around town.

He’s never too busy to take the time to stop and appreciate his accomplishments. 

He has a killer sense of humour.

He’s an attentive listener and won’t keep you on the phone any longer than necessary.

He has a real gift for interior design…and relocating headstones.

He’s organized, tidy, and good at putting things away.

He’s a real “go-getter” (and/or “go-get her”).

He is NOT a big fan of wire hangers.

You know what they say about a man and the size of his knife…

JASON VOORHEES WOULD BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND BECAUSE:

He loves his mother.  And candles!

His sense of style has evolved over time.

He treats everyone equally.

He can be spontaneous when you least expect it.

He’s excellent at picking up new skills almost immediately.

He believes in the supernatural.

He is not above taking public transportation when necessary.

He adapts well to his surroundings.

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